Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
