You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize