Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
