theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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