Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
