Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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