Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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