Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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