brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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