Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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