pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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