can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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