Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize