dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
