Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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