He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
