After last night, I could never be a politician.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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