I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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