I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i think im in europe. pls send help
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
