That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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