I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
