Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize