how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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