thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
