i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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