Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You made out with two different species that night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
