I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
