She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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