you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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