So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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