I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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