hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize