the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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