O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
