We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
