This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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