Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
