I don't think brook has ever known best
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
