What did we do last night that was yellow?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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