So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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