So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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