Where are you?
In a non slutty way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
