bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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