Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
