its not stalking. its research.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
