Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The power of my boobs compel you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
