Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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