so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
