the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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