508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
