that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
