I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think I sprained my soul last night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
