They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
