i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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