Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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