She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
