Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
