Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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