Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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