Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
