Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize