they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
