dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
