it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
