My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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