He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
