Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she woke up with a sticky ear
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
