Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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