do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize