he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
my liver is dry heaving
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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