Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
